Welcome to my world. An altered state of reality in which I sometimes feel as if I am the only one experiencing issues and situations that are ridiculous, funny, frustrating and thought provoking.
Imagine dating a guy and after breaking up you hear all your intimate business from a friend of a friend! You thought you were cool and all but you now realise that he was immature and juvenile and that he was too much into his friends to keep what you did in the bedroom (and living room) to himself like a grown man. Talk about a violation of trust and just being an all round jerk.
So you walked down the aisle, said your ‘I dos’, jumped the broom and jetted off to your exotic location where you soaked up all the sand, salt air, sun and sex that you could handle and had the time of your life. Now your suitcase is by your front door as you are back, ready to spend the rest of your lives making each other happy. Great.
Apparently the term ‘Netflix and chill’ is the millennial version of the 90s slang ‘booty call’ but for the sake of those who do not know what that means, we will keep it simple. When someone says ‘come on over’ and it is night time usually there are expectations of a little ‘supm supm’ happening at the end and that supm usually ends up with naked people played twister on a bed.
Forget chestnuts on an open fire or dashing through the snow on a sleigh as chestnuts and sleighs are not readily available at Pricesmart and therefore are not a part of our everyday reality. So while you know these Christmas carols, we generally do not relate as well them as we do to our local artistes who sing about sorrel, mongrel dogs and Santa who got lost in a mango tree.