Things every teacher wished parents knew

  • Saturday, September 19th, 2015

Dear parents, before you unleash your little hellions on the wider society, especially the poor teachers in the classroom (whether basic, primary or high school), here are a few things they wish you would seriously consider before turning them loose.

Read carefully and see if you are guilty and have incurred some ‘wrong bangs’ or get a big ‘ticky’ for being model parents.

  • Lice are not counted as students! Please don’t send them to school (on your children) because dem name nuh deh pon de register!
  • Don’t give dumb children smart fones! They are either gonna lose it or tek it mek blue movie wid dem as the lead actor/actress. Nutten nuh wrong wid de good ole ‘banger’.
  • Name brand nuh mek dem smart. It is ironic that some will buy Jansport bag and Clarkes shoes but grumble fi buy text books. Like seriously? SMH
  • Give them names they can actually spell….and pronounce. The recent RGD revelation about people naming their children ‘Placenta’ and ‘Syphilis’ was hard for some to fathom but just imagine how hard it is for a teacher to keep a straight face when confronted by names such as ‘AIRWRECKA’ (Erica)!
  • Manners and respect carry dem a far way. Listen man, when you nuh teach dem to respect authority, nuh expect the poor teacher dem fi work miracle wid unnu ‘leggo beasts’. Train up a child the way he/she should grow so that he/she do not depart from it.
  • Bad wud and some four letter words do not look cute coming out of the mouths of children. They are like sponges, so be careful what you say off the cuff and what you expose them to in movies. Certain words nuffi eena dem everyday vocabulary as dem caa use it eena phonics class.
  • Teachers are not informal financial institutions! Nuh send you pickney come a school hungry and expect teacher fi feed dem and gi dem bus fare fi reach home everyday. Yes they care and will try and help but some a unnu parents a tek this ting mek habit
  • man. Cho.
  • Rolls-on and toothpaste fi use a mawning time. Fi heaven sake check pon dem hygiene nuh, especially when dem reach pre-pubescent age and fuzz start tek up dem needa parts and dem start smell like ‘mammy lousie sea side’! Don’t send dem out so-so suh fi others embarrass dem.
  • Uniforms are not couture garments. Meaning don’t mek dem tek de good-good factory made uniform and alter it to be close fitted or ‘sexified’. If a sexy dem waa sexy it haffi tan til weekend. Otherwise dem heading back through the gate.
  • Homework serve a purpose! No it is not to punish you pickney so stop sey how de teacher wicked. It is to prepare dem to do work independently, so do not allow dem fi come school de next day and talk bout de dog ate de paper!
  • Teachers have feelings too! It nuh tek much fi send a greeting card or a “howdy” or even a bar a chocolate fi de educator feel appreciated. Memba sometimes a 60 rugrats to one deggeh deggeh teacher. It nuh easy pon dem.

Everybody, big and small, need fi have more respect fi we teacher dem who gi yeoman service under trying circumstances. Remember this: if it wasn’t for a teacher, you wouldn’t be able to read what I just wrote!