Sleep, my ultimate hobby

  • Tuesday, April 22nd, 2014

Everybody has a hobby, something that they are good at. For some people it’s dancing, others gardening and still others stamp collecting or singing etc For me it’s sleeping. Yes you read right, sleeping. When to comes to sleeping I have that down pat.

Now most people will say sleep is not a hobby as everybody has to do it. Well I do it very well. In fact I do it so well that usually I can sleep on cue or on demand (waking up in a whole other issue though).
On the hierarchy of needs I guess sleeping will hang right there with eating and shelter and all that basic stuff but what some fail to appreciate is that there is sleep…and then there is sleep. My kinda sleep is the kind that puts a smile on your face, smoothes out all your wrinkled and makes your toes curl from the pure pleasure of it.
Now a nice bed is part of the starter kit. Queen size or above and nice sheets is a must, 500 thread count Egyptian cotton is perfect but some regular nice cotton sheets will do as when you lay your clean body down on clean sheets on a nice firm but comfy mattress, you are in heaven. No need to count sheep or count to a hundred as you will be nodding off by the time you get to 5.

awwwww so cute
Now if you’re like me, you can fall asleep however and wherever. But other more finicky sleepers have to have their particular side of the bed like the left or right or if it’s against a wall, the inside. Me? I can sleep slant, cross way, upside down it doesn’t matter as long as I get my zzzs.
Now unfortunately, having mastered the art of sleeping I have developed this accompanying bad habit called snoring. Yep I snore. I will be the first to admit that I snore and loudly too. Sometime I snore so loud that I even wake up my own damn self! No joke. I’m serious as a heart attack. When I start it sounds like an old truck being dragged up Mount Rossier. I as-sume it not the most pleasant of sounds but hey I don’t claim to be perfect and at least I don’t drool, well I think I don’t drool. God couldn’t be so wicked to let me both snore and drool.
So sleep itself is totally dreamy (get it? hehehe) but to have the ultimate experience you also need a good air conditioning unit or if you cheap like me a good fan. It doesn’t have to be on high but it should not only keep you cool but blow the mosquitoes off you when they come to feast. A nice thin (but not thread bare) sheet is also a must for when it rolls around to 4 am and it gets a little chilly (by Jamaican standards) you need one to throw over your feet or bot-tom (or both). Pillows or throw cushions are also an essential part of the sleeping equation. They can’t be too soft or too tough. Like a man, they have to be just right to give you hours of precious zzzs.
If you’re home for the weekend and it’s raining outside and your roof is not leaking, sleep can be even sweeter as the pitter patter of the rain drops make for a great lullaby as it lulls you gently to sleep. Add to that some aromatic candles and O La la! Magnifique! You’re in sweet slumber.