Welcome to my world. An altered state of reality in which I sometimes feel as if I am the only one experiencing issues and situations that are ridiculous, funny, frustrating and thought provoking.
What would hapen if you met a great man who opens your car door, lends you his phone to make calls, introduces you to his family and friends and pays you compliments unsolicited. You are over the moon happy and can see the relationship progressing to the next level but there is just one tiny problem. Him nuh cute! In fact that may be putting it mildly as he has a face best seen through snapchat filters.
Check this out: in 2015 you stopped dating Tyrone because he could not control the one eyed snake that was slithering around in his trousers. So after a year and a string of broken promises, you called it quits and gathered your best friend and a tub of ice cream to bawl, commiserate and watch lifetime movies together as you both cuss out every male for being a furry four legged creature that pees on fire hydrate and shagged every available woman as if marking their territory.
So you think you found yourself a good man because he is caring, compassionate and considerate. He is romantic, tells you he loves you and get this…even lets you holds his phone and have the passwords to all his electronic devices! He communicates, shows you affection in front of his friends and introduces you as ‘his girl’ to everyone. You are over the moon happy and can see the relationship progressing to the next level. There is only one major problem….he has a face only a mother can love and in his case, that mother would still need at least six shots of Hennessey to show that love as physically he could be twins with Quasimodo.
Listen I am neither stupid or self centred enough to believe this is purely a female problem but as one I have to firstly speak from my own point of view. In my mind there are few things as emotionally devastating as loving someone who doesn’t love you back.