The seven deadly sins of sharing

  • Thursday, January 18th, 2018

In this age of trying to be one with the universe and save the trees, the planet and mankind, we tend to ‘Kumbaya’ everything and use the word “share” a lot but when it comes to common sense as well as hygiene practices, the most we should share are ideas and car pool duties.

While sharing sound so cool to say, what is not cool are some of the consequences of ‘oversharing’ and letting people’s biological matters get mixed with yours. If that sounded messy, it probably is. I have put together a short list of things you should refrain from sharing if you don’t want an unnecessary trip to either the dermatologist or general practitioner any time soon.

Underwear – ewwww. Likely seriously ewww. When I was a teen a summer camp, there was a  girl who stole other girls’ panties off the line. We found the culprit when we played ‘cow itch the teif’ and to this day it still boggles my mind how people would put on someone else’s underwear. That is beyond nasty but a so some people roll.

Toothbrush – yup. Germs capital wuss some people mouth nuh tan good from mawning so why would you consider sticking that stick in your pie hole. Tooth brushes are inexpensive and abundant so oral hygiene shouldn’t have to be a communal thing. I’m just saying.

Secrets – now this is where it really gets interesting. There’s a saying: three can keep a secret if two are dead. That basically means shet you mouth and tek it to your grave! If you a gi u man bun, shet you mouth! If you saw your boss out wid some eye candy and u and him wife close, still shet you mouth! Not everything you fi like and share, a nuh Instrgram or Facebook!

Deodorant – underarm care is ‘mucho importante’ but having any cuts, bruises and openings in the skin mean that sharing roll-on or stick deodorant is a no-no. If you friends don’t have, mek dem go use baking soda, it works and if that’s not available dem can try the old method of hot potato. That will surely kill anything parasites living all up in there. Trust me the last thing you want is an itchy arm pit and ‘cooties’.

Make-up – much like the deodorant, if it goes on your skin, it’s a personal effect and should be used by you and you alone.

Towel – why should you be cool swapping dead skin? Nuh oh! It you find yourself without a towel, reach for a large rag or even a t-shirt and once again, ensure that whatever you use is your own.

Your man – Giiiiiirrrrrrlllll. If you value your relationship, there will be no sharing. His ‘truck’ should be parked in your garage and not the street side. Your girlfriends better not be able to tell you if he circumcised or not, if it hangs to the left or the right or if he’s a stallion or a minute man with good benefits. Keep what you do with your man to yourself especially if his game is on point because then, dem female snake are going to want to test the waters and you don’t need Miss Cleo’s help to predict that is a recipe for trouble. Keep your private life private.