She may be the wing woman, the one who holds the purses when everyone else goes to the bathroom or even the designated driver when others are too intoxicated to hold their liquor. She is the friend that holds back your hair when you are throwing up or carries extra tampons in case of emergency. She is always reliable, gives sound advice and there to borrow money from until payday.
So recently I was at a funeral and this ‘fass’ (inquisitive) woman who don’t look like she weigh 90 pounds soaking wet (even with a 6 inch block tied to her feet) came up to me seemingly to greet me but really to be a bitch as the first thing out her mouth was ‘lawd Nikki you fat eeh?”.
So everybody know sey whether it is summer or not, life a Jamaica hot. To walk down the road sometimes you literally feel like steam a come outta your head top and don’t even bother talk about night time because if you not physically outside , sweat will run offa you, as the houses seem like oven, designed to bake you at a perfect 360 degrees.
Jamaican people have never been the most politically correct from the days when saltfish a shingle rooftop. We see a short man and call him ‘shorty’; a one eyed or one legged man becomes ‘oney’ and a man who has been reported to posses a rather long appendage between his legs become ‘donkey man’.